The $#*! My Kid Says

So, you know that William Shatner show, "$#*! My Dad Says" what was on a few years ago...well here's our version with little miss D.  We are really starting to get concerned that the wrong person will hear one of these sometime, and we'll end up in big trouble.

 D:  "Mommy, D go potty."
Me:  "Ok, let's go..."  as we head towards the bathroom because even through she's fully capable she will not start the process without a co-pilot.  I get her all sat down and situation, and I wait patiently.
D:  "No touch me, Mommy!"  as I'm standing at least 3 feet away from her.

We get home late one night from something, and my hands are full as I'm getting out of the car.   So, Craig reaches into the backseat to undo her carseat buckles, he struggles a little in the dark...
D:  "What is Daddy doing to me?"
Craig and I instantly look at each other with that deer in the headlights look.

Hearsay from Holly at daycare (but, I can totally see this happening).  Holly was folding laundry onto the kitchen table, and Delaney was there with her babydoll.  Holly asked her not to put her baby on the piles of clean clothes.  Of course, Delaney doesn't listen and puts her baby atop one of Holly's piles.  Naturally, Holly removes the baby from the clothes and continues with her task. 
D:  "Holly throw baby down!"

Between these instances (all of which have been in the last week!) and many others, we're beginning to fear a knock on the door from CPS. 

She does say some pretty sweet things too these days.  Like just yesterday, when I picked her up from Holly's.
D:  screaming and running towards me as I walk through the door "Mommy, you came back!"
M:  "Did you think I was never coming back?"
D:  "Yeah."

Then, as we're walking to the car, "Mommy, I love you so much!  I'm you're peanut!"

Or, last night as we're doing our nightly rockabye...
D:  "Mommy, I love Chase.  I give him hugs and kisses.  Let's go to Nick & Jessie's house."
Me:  "Chase loves you too, honey.  We will go to Jess & Nick's house soon."
D:  "Let's go tomorrow."
Me.  "I'm sorry, honey, but Mommy has to work tomorrow and you have to go to Holly's house to see your boys.  We'll go to Jess & Nick's house again soon."
D:  "Let's go to Papa's house."
Me:  "Well, sweetie, we will go to Papa's house soon, too!  Maybe they'll come to DD's house to see you!:
D:  "Yay!"