Do you ever find yourself lost in thought? Consumed by your own crazy worries? I do occasionally, and when it happens it freaks me out. I come from a long line of worriers, so it doesn't shock me that I worry about things. However, sometimes it just gets to me. Usually there's a catalyst that sets me off...a crazy show on TV, a story on the news, a weird sound late at night that I hadn't heard before, etc.
It usually happens when I'm really tired and trying to sleep. Something crazy will creep into my head and wham...I'm swimming in my own paranoia for hours, and the pattern can go on for days. Some are realistic worries, and some are just plain crazy. I'm not quite sure if this is healthy, but it drives me crazy when it happens. I'm grateful it doesn't happen that often.
I also think my job has a little to do with it sometimes. I work with life insurance day in and day out, so death and mortality are constantly in the forefront. It gets very morbid sometimes, so I try to not think about the end result of what I do. Sometimes, I just can't help myself.
I think I need something to occupy my time. Something good to think about when I need to, so all the bad thoughts/worries in the back of my mind don't get so bad. I must sound totally crazy! Yikes!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Love Hate Relationship
So I have a love hate relationship with a little pill called Topamax. I have been taking this wonder drug for the past 2 years to ward off my migraine headaches. While taking it, I had NO migraines...hence, why I call it a wonder drug and the "love" part of the relationship. This drug does have some really weird side effects...tingling in my hands & feet, loss of taste for carbonated drinks, really bad things happen with alcohol, etc.
My neurologist never wanted me to be on this long-term. He also very adamantly told me under no circumstances could I get pregnant while taking the medication. Once I was stable...no headaches of any significance for a long period of time, we would discuss stopping the use of Topamax. Well, that time came last summer...right before the wedding and the move into the the house. We decided after all of that was over and settled, I would begin tapering down my dosage. So, on October 1st I started lowering my dose 50mg every month. I stayed a little longer here and there at certain increments.
Now to the hate part of the relationship...from the first month of lowering my dosage I have had more and more headaches...but, these past few weeks have been awful. I have had more migraines in the last two weeks than the last two years! I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I really want my body to be a drug-free zone, so that when we are ready to try for a baby I don't have to worry about that...but, this just plain sucks! I also no longer have any tolerance for this kind of pain because I haven't had it for so long. I really don't know what to do, but I can't start this whole migraine fiasco all over again!
My neurologist never wanted me to be on this long-term. He also very adamantly told me under no circumstances could I get pregnant while taking the medication. Once I was stable...no headaches of any significance for a long period of time, we would discuss stopping the use of Topamax. Well, that time came last summer...right before the wedding and the move into the the house. We decided after all of that was over and settled, I would begin tapering down my dosage. So, on October 1st I started lowering my dose 50mg every month. I stayed a little longer here and there at certain increments.
Now to the hate part of the relationship...from the first month of lowering my dosage I have had more and more headaches...but, these past few weeks have been awful. I have had more migraines in the last two weeks than the last two years! I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I really want my body to be a drug-free zone, so that when we are ready to try for a baby I don't have to worry about that...but, this just plain sucks! I also no longer have any tolerance for this kind of pain because I haven't had it for so long. I really don't know what to do, but I can't start this whole migraine fiasco all over again!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Motivation
I have always had a little trouble with motivation. I tend to put things off until I really need to do them...I guess you call that procrastination. Although, I've never called myself a procrastinator. Anyway, I am finding more and more things I am lacking the motivation to do.
I have never been a work-out junkie. I HATE running! I find it hard to make working out a priority when I have other things I care about a whole lot more. Now all of a sudden I find my body changing for unknown reasons, I think I'm getting closer and closer to finding the motivation I need. I had already tried (just recently) to make a better effort with my food choices, but there's has to be more to it. We have been talking about joining a gym. Craig also keeps throwing around the Boflex idea. Both of these options require additional funds, so we'll see what we end up doing. I really wish it wasn't below zero out, so going on a long walk with Izzy was a viable option. I guess I'll have to wait a few months for that one!
I have also been having trouble getting motivated to continue the process of making our house a home. Granted...part of the problem is that some of the things I want to do require cash we don't necessarily have lying around, but some of it is pure lack of effort. We have things...gift, etc. that can/should totally have a real place in the house by now that doesn't consist of the basement storage room or the extra closet. Oh...and those naked walls are really starting to get to me. Maybe now that I have some gift cards from Christmas and it's sale season I can do it, but where to start?!? I'm pretty clueless when it comes to home decorating.
I guess those are the two main things bothering me at the moment. We'll see how the next few months so and if I make any significant progress. I sure hope so!
I have never been a work-out junkie. I HATE running! I find it hard to make working out a priority when I have other things I care about a whole lot more. Now all of a sudden I find my body changing for unknown reasons, I think I'm getting closer and closer to finding the motivation I need. I had already tried (just recently) to make a better effort with my food choices, but there's has to be more to it. We have been talking about joining a gym. Craig also keeps throwing around the Boflex idea. Both of these options require additional funds, so we'll see what we end up doing. I really wish it wasn't below zero out, so going on a long walk with Izzy was a viable option. I guess I'll have to wait a few months for that one!
I have also been having trouble getting motivated to continue the process of making our house a home. Granted...part of the problem is that some of the things I want to do require cash we don't necessarily have lying around, but some of it is pure lack of effort. We have things...gift, etc. that can/should totally have a real place in the house by now that doesn't consist of the basement storage room or the extra closet. Oh...and those naked walls are really starting to get to me. Maybe now that I have some gift cards from Christmas and it's sale season I can do it, but where to start?!? I'm pretty clueless when it comes to home decorating.
I guess those are the two main things bothering me at the moment. We'll see how the next few months so and if I make any significant progress. I sure hope so!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
A Good Night with Good Friends
Isn't it funny how much a great conversation with some great friends can change your mood?
Yesterday was just a blah day...and a Monday. Virtually nothing happening at work...still...and the weather constantly deteriorated all day long. Basically by the time 5 o'clock rolled around I had a classic case of the Monday blahs. Plus, to top it all off the wonderful low pressure system that rolled into Lincoln Monday afternoon gave me a very pleasant migraine headache. Wonderful!
Well, Monday's always have the bonus for us of the "Soup Night" get together with our closest friends. We all get together and whatever home is up in the rotation. We bring our favorite food items and spend the night eating and catching up on the last week's activities. It gives all of something to look forward to on those awful, blah Mondays. Last night's gathering was one of the best in my opinion.
The conversation at the girl table was random, hilarious, and educating. We talked about everything from Siamese twins to soup recipes...and everything in between. While I was there, but headache subsided and I was able to relax. By the end of the night, we had all scheduled when we're having babies and went home with full tummies and smiles on our faces. Last night was a classic example of why we do this every week (virtually without fail). It was exactly what I needed after a long day/weekend! Thanks girls!
The downside, but the time we got home my headache was raging again (worse than before). We caught up on our DVR shows from Monday (CSI: Miami & the Bachelor) and went to bed. The good news today...so far, no sign of the headache!
Yesterday was just a blah day...and a Monday. Virtually nothing happening at work...still...and the weather constantly deteriorated all day long. Basically by the time 5 o'clock rolled around I had a classic case of the Monday blahs. Plus, to top it all off the wonderful low pressure system that rolled into Lincoln Monday afternoon gave me a very pleasant migraine headache. Wonderful!
Well, Monday's always have the bonus for us of the "Soup Night" get together with our closest friends. We all get together and whatever home is up in the rotation. We bring our favorite food items and spend the night eating and catching up on the last week's activities. It gives all of something to look forward to on those awful, blah Mondays. Last night's gathering was one of the best in my opinion.
The conversation at the girl table was random, hilarious, and educating. We talked about everything from Siamese twins to soup recipes...and everything in between. While I was there, but headache subsided and I was able to relax. By the end of the night, we had all scheduled when we're having babies and went home with full tummies and smiles on our faces. Last night was a classic example of why we do this every week (virtually without fail). It was exactly what I needed after a long day/weekend! Thanks girls!
The downside, but the time we got home my headache was raging again (worse than before). We caught up on our DVR shows from Monday (CSI: Miami & the Bachelor) and went to bed. The good news today...so far, no sign of the headache!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Welcome To My Blog
I've been reading more and more blogs lately, so I thought I would give it a try. I am constantly finding myself with random thoughts so I would imagine this blog would be fairly random at times.
If you don't know me, I'm a newlywed (since August), first-time homeowner, and first-time pet parent within the last 6 months. It's been one crazy ride, but a whole lot of fun. Craig and I are still adjusting to all of it, but so far so good.
Craig and I have been together for over 7 1/2 years...yes, we're high school sweethearts! We went all through college at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and after we both graduated we decided it was high time to tie the knot. We grew up about 11 miles apart and our families have known each other long before we were ever born.
We bought our first home last June, but didn't move in until after our wedding in August. It's starting to feel more and more like home, but the walls are still naked. I really need to get into the home decorating thing...maybe after tax refund time!
We got our adorable little puppy, Izzy, on September 20th. She's a beagle and lots of fun! Considering, I have never had a dog before this was a huge deal for me, but I haven't regretted it for a minute! I'm still amazed how much she has changed our lives...for the better of course!
According to just about everyone we talk too, it seems like the next logical step is a little one ( a baby). No immediate plans as of right now, but we'll see what happens after while!
If you don't know me, I'm a newlywed (since August), first-time homeowner, and first-time pet parent within the last 6 months. It's been one crazy ride, but a whole lot of fun. Craig and I are still adjusting to all of it, but so far so good.
Craig and I have been together for over 7 1/2 years...yes, we're high school sweethearts! We went all through college at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and after we both graduated we decided it was high time to tie the knot. We grew up about 11 miles apart and our families have known each other long before we were ever born.
We bought our first home last June, but didn't move in until after our wedding in August. It's starting to feel more and more like home, but the walls are still naked. I really need to get into the home decorating thing...maybe after tax refund time!
We got our adorable little puppy, Izzy, on September 20th. She's a beagle and lots of fun! Considering, I have never had a dog before this was a huge deal for me, but I haven't regretted it for a minute! I'm still amazed how much she has changed our lives...for the better of course!
According to just about everyone we talk too, it seems like the next logical step is a little one ( a baby). No immediate plans as of right now, but we'll see what happens after while!
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