Merry Christmas!

“And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight…

‘Tis the season to get flooded with Christmas letters — often a collage of ridiculous bragging about trips, careers, and stories about how their kids are better than everyone else’s.  Well, let’s just get this out of the way upfront, my kid is smarter, more well behaved, and has done more impressive things over the last year than anyone else’s.  As has become tradition now that my last year’s letter was such a success, if I do say so myself, I will be handling the Christmas letter writing duties for the foreseeable future.  I do not expect to match the perfect combination of humor and storytelling mixed in with just the right amount of smart-ass from last year, but I will give it a good ‘ol college try.

I have decided that I would follow with a similar format this year, but using Christmas songs instead of TV shows to describe a few of the things happening in our lives over the past year.

•  That Spirit of Christmas…Delaney is so excited for the holidays this year.  This is going to be such a fun Christmas!
•  Away in a Manger...No crib for a bed.  We have upgraded D to “big girl bed”.  Luckily, she thinks practical gifts are cool.
•  O Christmas Tree…We put up the tree and therefore most of the ornaments are within 3.5’ of the floor.
•  Silver Bells…I hate this song and that’s the only reason I put it on here.
• Gee Whiz, It's Christmas…Crystal taught D how to ‘whiz’ on a curb on 4^th of July.  I am a proud Father…and husband?
• Let's Hear It for Mrs. Claus!...Crystal still works for her uncle, and 10 years later I still have no idea what she does!
• Silent Night…Until Delaney has to potty, has a hangnail, or needs a drink.    Bedtime remains a struggle.
• Christmas Canon…It looks like a ‘cannon’ shot toys all over our living room every night.
• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer…Izzy (the dog) isn’t a reindeer, doesn’t have a red nose, and can’t fly, but she’s ours.
•  I Saw Three Ships…We took a “business” trip to Vancouver B.C. The harbor and scenery were breathtaking.
•  Sleigh Ride…I’ve continued my daily commute to Omaha this year.  It might be time for a new sleigh. 
•  A Christmas Long Ago…We celebrated my parents 40^th and my grandparents 65^th anniversaries.  Pretty Impressive!
• What Child is This…Crystal is constantly trying to find a piece of herself in Delaney, but the force is strong with this one.
• I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus…Odd there is no mistletoe at home, but we do have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey.
• You’re Mean One, Mr. Grinch…Crystal says I am not in the “spirit”, yet here I am writing this letter.  Oh wait…
• Frosty the Snowman…The “terrible 2’s” have been rough.  I needed a few extra “frostys” to get through this year!
• Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow… Precipitation? What’s that?  We are hoping the yard survived the drought.
•  The Little Drummer Boy…If anyone gets Delaney another toy that makes noise, they will have to answer to me.
•  The Most Wonderful Time of the Year...Not this football season, have you seen my Chiefs?!?
• White Christmas…Not for the Republicans!

 How could I write this letter without including some ‘Delaney-isms” that make us laugh…

•  In her version of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”… it goes, “Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life goes down the drain”.
• She will demand help with everyday tasks, and when we offer help…she yells, “Don’t touch DD!”
• You ask her if she’s Daddy’s girl…she smiles and replies, “No, Daddy’s a boy!”
• She poops ‘snakes’ of various sizes.  The funny thing is that “mommy” sized snakes are bigger than “daddy” size.

T      When asking if she has been a good girl this year she answers “no”.  Well, at least she is honest!

Obviously, I had a little too much fun with this letter, but I hope you found it at least slightly entertaining.  Overall, we had a pretty uneventful year here at the Mencke house, but sometimes uneventful isn’t all that bad.  It been the “Year of the Two-Year-Old”, and we wouldn’t trade it for the world.   In all seriousness, we want to wish you a wonderful Christmas and an amazing 2013! 

Love, Craig, Crystal, Delaney, & Izzy Mencke

Visit us at http://candcmencke.blogspot.com

…he's
gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!”—Clark W. Griswold

Heavy Hearts

As most Americans and parents, our hearts have been heavy for the last week since first hearing of the horrible tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School.  I have had a pit in my stomach for a week, and I can't keep my thoughts from wandering back to those families as they have to face the happiest time of year with a huge hole in their hearts!  I cannot begin to imagine the pain they are feeling.  No parent should ever have to endure that loss.  I pray for comfort and peace for all of them right now! 

We have been preparing for the Christmas season, and we have a little girl that is getting very excited!  She still has no idea what's going on, but she knows just enough to know it's going to be awesome!  We can't tell her specifics of our travel plans or visitors until it's the day before or so, or she can't handle the wait!  We have been reading "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" every night this week, and they have been talking about the meaning of Christmas at Holly's.  I'm trying to savor the little moments and conversations.  I'm so excited to see how it all unfolds for her...it's going to be wonderful! 

We were at the mall shopping for my birthday gift a couple weeks ago, when Delaney spotted Santa Claus.  Last year's visit didn't go well at all, so I wasn't pushing her.  She said she wanted to go see him, and there was only one person in line!  We went for it, and she did a great job!  She hopped right up on his lap and listened intently.  He told her she needed to listen to her Mommy & Daddy, pick up her toys, and go to sleep at night when we say it's time!  He knows her sooo well, he had me believing!  What a great Santa!?!

We busted out the new Christmas PJs one night, and Delaney got SOOOO excited!  I told her to smile, and this is what I got!  Some of her family members have mentioned a resemblance of the Grinch with that grin! 

Delaney loves candy canes, so she got a special treat after lunch one Saturday a couple weeks ago!  Girlfriend was in heaven!

Don't let this angelic picture fool you, this little one is still walking a fine line between naughty & nice.  December has brought the terrible twos back out in full force! 

We did a family bake day last Sunday, so we could take some treats to our neighbors!  Delaney was a great assistant with the sprinkles! 

Much to our surprise, we got a treat on our doorstep shortly after delivering some treats of our own! 

Last night, we got our first snowfall of the season.  We have been in blizzard warnings for the past 18 hours.  We were lucky compared to some, we didn't lose power and we all made it home safe last night.   Delaney can't wait to go play in the snow tonight!  We are going to get that White Christmas after all!

Catch up & Eddie

Wow, I've really gotten behind.  We last checked in before Thanksgiving.  We had a glorious long weekend full of family, food, football, shopping, and laughs.  I didn't take many pictures this year (Mom fail).  We spent time with all of Delaney's grandparents and great grandparents!  She loved all the spoiling!

We were all pretty exhausted by the time we came home.  Delaney slept the whole way!  I just wish she was a better sleeper when we traveled.  Actually, I just wish she was a better sleeper in general.

We came home and started getting ready for Christmas!  We set up Delaney's little tree first.  She is so excited by everything "Christmas" this year...it's already so much fun!

Craig channeled his inner Clark Griswold last Saturday and took care of the outside decorations! We've had a few messages from the neighbors...it does look a little a runway up our driveway! 

Then, Santa came a little early and brought Delaney her new big girl bed.  She has been rapidly outgrowing her toddler bed, so we took advantage of a Cyber Monday deal.  She loves her new bed, maybe a little too much!  She's been partying into the wee hours...

Her new big girl quilt came just a couple days ago, and it was as if she won the lottery! I think you could give this girl a box of rocks, and she'd be ecstatic!

We debated for a long time whether or not to start the Elf on the Shelf tradition this year, or wait another year.  At the last minute, we decided to give it a shot and Eddie the Elf showed up on our doorstep.  The first night, Eddie found a perch on the living room curtain rod, so he had a bird's eye view of all the happenings.  Delaney doesn't quite understand the "No Touching of the Elf" rule, so I think Eddie is going to have to stick with "higher" viewpoints!

Last night, the second night Eddie became "Super Eddie" and decided to "fly" from the living room ceiling fan with a little cape!  Delaney thought he was pretty silly when she found him this morning!

 

Craig also having a little "fun" with Eddie.  For more X-Rated Eddie the Elf shenanigans find Craig on Facebook!  You can also find Eddie--the nice version--on Instagram, you can follow me at cmencke4.  Until the next time...